Since the day I found out I was going to be a big sister, I've taken the job very seriously. From changing your diapers to helping you with algebra homework...all of it has gone by so fast. And so I want to share some things that I will never forget:

1) The time you busted in your front teeth when you had an Oreo cookie in your mouth. Seriously, chocolate wafer, cream, and blood? Not a pretty sight.

2) I once convinced you that Santa was real by saying, "Come on. Do you think Mom and Dad can actually afford the stuff he buys us?" To which you replied, "You're right. They couldn't."

3) When you were about 8 or so and you turned down riding bikes with your friends because you, "promised [your] sister [you'd] make cut out cookies today."

4) Our tradition of sleeping in my bed the night before a big event...vacations...Christmases...Thanksgivings...Fourth of July. We'd lay there talking about what ever tomorrow's big day was. What did we think Santa was bringing us? How early should we wake Mom and Dad? How we couldn't wait to see the sand dunes of Michigan and go swimming in the pool. That was some serious fun...mostly because it was our thing only. Of course when I was 18 and you were 11 we were both a little leggy for my twin bed...then one of us (usually you) slept on the floor. It didn't matter as long as we were together!

5) How strange it felt to ride as a passenger in a vehicle you were driving.

6) The nights I would wake you up to sleep in my room because it was storming outside. You didn't seem to mind the storms...I hated them. I'd say, "if you're scared and you want to sleep in my room, you can." You'd sleepily reply that, no, you weren't afraid. Somehow I'd con you into leaving your warm bed to sleep in my room...on the floor nonetheless. I can't believe you put up with that!

7) The time you asked Mom what pubiter was because you overheard me saying I couldn't wait until your voice changes when you hit puberty.

8) The nights you stayed with me while Larry was in jail. Thank you for that. It was more comfort than you know.

9) When you declared that you knew why I had a flannel bra...that it was to keep my hooters warm.

10) The less than pretty times after Nora was born...when you had to see my butt at the hospital and my boobs while I was trying to learn to nurse her. You totally didn't mind that. You will make an awesome husband someday!

11) The many times you'd go with me...anywhere...just to ride along in the car. Like the time we went all the way to North Olmsted to get Mom's Christmas gift...that turned out to be something she already had.

12) When you were little you looked up to me so much that if I said something was cool, then that was good enough. A shirt you didn't like? If it got the big sister seal of approval then you'd wear it all day!

13) The nights that you told Mom you'd wait for me to do your homework with you because, "Courtney isn't confusing like you are." Man, that made me feel cool!

14) When you found out that we don't have the same Dad and you said, "it doesn't matter to me because you're my sister no matter what."

15) Your middle school project that you needed a condom for. I can't even remember what class it was for...but I remember driving you to a gas station and sending you in the bathroom. I told you that it was your project, you could go in and get it. And you cackled like a hyena the whole way home because the idea of having a condom in your hands was just too much.

16) The time we took that "wounded" bird to Back to the Wild...only it recovered on the way. Remember that little bastard? He bit you and flapped around in my car. That wasn't funny at the time...but it sure is now!

17) The morning we chased Nakita all over town because she was chasing a deer. That was some funny stuff! I've never seen you get dressed and out of the house so quickly. Hmm...I'll have to remember that the next time I want to get you out of bed. I'll just tell you the dog is chasing a deer.

18) The times you came to me for advice. About school. About Mom and Dad. About girls. About anything. I like that you knew you could trust me. I hope you know that I have always had your best interests in mind. I have always stood up for you. I have always tried to protect you.

I'm proud of you, Little Brother. You're thoughtful, caring, loyal, trustworthy, and smart in ways I never will be. One day you'll have kids of your own and I'll be telling someone, "oh, my little brother...". Every time I say that I stop and think. Because the little kid that used to call me Sissy is now my height...growing chin hair...and eighteen years old. Happy Birthday, Buddy!

Posted by Courtney at 6:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

1) It is possible for Nora to sleep sprawled out in my Mom's lap...on an airplane where there are five hundred thousand people to make goofy faces at.

2) It is not possible for me to sleep on an airplane because I can't stop thinking that we're going to crash.

3) My aunt's friend's boyfriend masturbates everyday in the shower.

4) There is nothing more fantastic than hearing a squeal of pure joy come from my daughter's mouth as she's flying down the hills of San Francisco, in her Dora stroller, with her arms spread out like airplane wings...just catching the breeze.

5) It is possible and completely acceptable to eat lunch everyday at La Canasta, the world's best Mexican take out restaurant. Really, those burritos are the only reason I would risk my life boarding an airplane.

6) An informal poll at my birthday party found that four out of six women pee in the shower. Speculation is that the other two were probably not telling the truth.

7) Another informal poll (that was conducted after Grandma went to bed) found that the majority of men do not prefer "hairy muffs"...even though that same poll revealed that a few women in the room were falsely under the impression that they do.

8) Going pee after a bikini wax hurts a million times more than the entire waxing procedure.

9) It is impossible to discuss your bikini wax in front of your Grandmother without feeling a little strange.

10) It is possible to wake a nine-month-old baby by rustling the covers on the bed that is in the room you're sharing with her. But she will, apparently, not wake up when six women in the house are laughing and carrying on about bikini waxes and peeing in the shower.

11) During a phone conversation with someone over 2000 miles away, one can hear the embarrassment of a husband who has forgotten that it's his wife's birthday.

12) A grown man can sit on a bench, dressed like any other normal grown man in a flannel shirt and jeans, with perfectly manicured...red polished...fingernails. And the only people who will look at him funny are the mid-western tourists. One of those tourists might even secretly snap his picture.

Posted by Courtney at 10:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)