As if pregnancy isn't glamorous enough...with the puking, weight gain, snoring (from the weight gain), sweating, breakouts, leaking breasts, and increased discharge and who knows what from 'down there'...I've now started drooling. We're not talking "oh a small cute amount of drool"...we're talking "someone dumped a bucket of water on my pillow, sheet, and side of my face". I've never been a drooler, so this latest development has me more grossed out than any other pregnancy grossness I've had thus far. To make matters worse, I go to sleep before Larry and he gets some enjoyment out of hearing me have "wet snoring" as he calls it....enjoys it to the point of wanting to videotape me sleeping so I can enjoy it, too. As if I'm not enjoying it enough when I wake up with a soaking wet pillow case. I'm going to need to start sleeping with a beach towel over my pillow. Icky.

In other baby news...there is no news. I went to see the doctor on Wednesday and when he came in he said, "now here's a woman who likes being pregnant". Yeah. Right. That's it. He told me that he'd really like for me to go into labor on my own, but also that he likes his moms to deliver by 42 weeks. So to give me the maximum chance at going on my own he scheduled me to come in to be induced on Monday night...when I'll be 41 1/2 weeks. I hadn't dilated any more and it looks like she's hanging in for a forceful eviction on Monday/Tuesday. Let me just say that I thought she'd be here for this year's taxes...and the fact that it's not looking like she will be...ticks me off...right off the bat I'm already irritated with her. Okay, that's not true...but it is frustrating that we thought we'd be home with our little bundle of poop and tears by now and here I am still pregnant. Barring a miracle, since I'm still not having contractions, it looks like she'll be born on the 2nd of January.

Yesterday she was moving a ton more than normal so I told Larry and he said "maybe she's packing up her stuff to head on out...you know she's cleaning up a little...thinking hmmm...placenta can stay...looks like this cord's coming with me...I think I'll leave this fluid here...this thumb I've been sucking on definitely comes with me..." It was a nice thought, but not looking to be very likely.

Posted by Courtney at 4:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Baby Long is obviously enjoying her stay in my uterus...because it is apparent that she's not going anywhere just yet. I'm thinking this is a terrible case of payback for how stubborn I am...add that to how impatient I am and you can just imagine how fun I must be to live with right now. Yesterday I was a little freaked out because I noticed she wasn't moving as much as usual. You know they say 4 times in an hour...well most times she moves 4 times in ten minutes...not so much yesterday. After spending part of the day worried that something was wrong, I decided to take a post-lunch nap to calm down a little. When I woke up I was feeling pretty lightheaded and like my heart was racing. It was at that point I decided to call the doctor's office. I figured everything was fine...but I also thought I'd feel pretty terrible if this was my body's way of telling me something was wrong and I ignored it. The nurse suggested I go to the hospital so they could hook me up to the fetal monitor and check my blood pressure.

It wasn't two seconds after having the monitor in place that we could hear her little heart beating away...let me tell you, that was the most comforting thing in the world! They monitored everything for about an hour and called to report to the doctor that the heartbeat was fine and my blood pressure was only slightly elevated (145/85). He wanted the nurse to check me to see if the cytotec had done anything to get my cervix dilating at all. I gotta say, that was quite unpleasant...I'm kinda thinking the nurse was counting my ribs by feeling them from the inside...unpleasant doesn't even do the pain justice. The first nurse determined that my cervix was too high to see how dilated I was...and it wasn't for her lack of trying to reach it, either. Lucky for me she sent in another nurse to try. The second nurse said "barely a 1". So...no progress from over a week ago...after three doses of cytotec. They called to report to the doctor who told them to give me another dose of medicine and watch me for an hour to monitor my blood pressure and contractions. I'm still not feeling contractions...the printout from the monitor says they're there...I just don't feel them yet.

After a little over an hour they checked my blood pressure and it was high...we're talking nurse's-eyebrows-to-the-ceiling high (167/135). She advised me that he'd never let me go home with it this high and that I should lay on my left side to see if that would help it come down. I moved to my side and she checked my reflexes and checked my blood pressure again in about ten minutes. It had come down to a more doctor friendly 132/85. The nurse called again to report to the doctor and he gave me the go ahead to go home...with instructions to rest on my left (or right) side for the rest of eternity...or until I go into labor. I'm thinking eternity is going to be most likely.

I'm to see the doctor on Monday at 8am unless I go into labor or start feeling funny before then. At that point he's going to decide what to do about springing this little girlie from her cocoon. I'm assuming that on Monday he'll give me a date to be induced if I haven't gone into labor spontaneously by then. Of course if I'm not ready and he induces me I have an increased chance of a c-section...but that's a whole 'nother fear-filled post altogether.

Posted by Courtney at 6:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

On Tuesday the doctor sent me to have my cervix ripened...pleasant, huh?! It actually only consisted of staying in a hospital bed all day, taking three pills over the course of 9 hours, and going home. No big deal. At my appointment on Monday he said I was still getting puffy and I hadn't progressed from the 1cm from last week, so he wanted to send me to get this ripening procedure done...the next day. Talk about flipping out. He started out sounding like he was going to do this next week...I ask when he's wanting me to do this...and he says "oh, probably tomorrow"...like it was no big deal. He did tell me that 10% of people will go into labor right away, but most people go home and start within three days or so. It really wasn't a big deal...the worst thing was that it was pretty boring and kinda uncomfortable. I took this medicine (cytotec), waited three hours, took another, waited three hours, and took another. The uncomfortable thing about it was that I had to be hooked up to the fetal heart monitor and a contractions monitor. Well wouldn't you know that if I was comfortable, which was usually on my left or right side, the little Stinker wouldn't cooperate and the nurse had to keep adjusting the heart monitor.

There was minimal contraction activity by the end of the 9 hours, so I was sent home with the expectation (and hope) that I'll have to be back in the next few days. I guess I'm feeling the contractions although right now it just feels like period cramps. I asked the nurse how I'd know they were every five minutes for an hour (the point at which I'm supposed to return to the hospital), if I wasn't even sure I was having them or not. She said, rather ominously, "oh...by the time they're every five minutes...you'll know...don't worry..." I'm not sure if that was supposed to be comforting...or fear inducing...

Stay tuned...we'll be keeping you updated...

Posted by Courtney at 8:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I haven't had hardly any strange baby dreams thus far. I've heard of people dreaming they delivered their baby and instead had a full grown chicken or an alien. I have been lucky because I've never awakened terrified that my child will come out as a barnyard animal...although if she's anything like her father...

Last night I did, however, have a baby influenced dream. I understand it can be boring or silly to read about someone else's dream...but it was short...I'll be quick...and...um...you came to my blog so sometimes you may end up reading a boring or silly post...it's just how it works.

I'm doing a demonstration on a TV commercial where I am explaining to people how delicious it is to have sandwiches without bread...you really get all of the sandwich flavor if you skip the bread and only enjoy the insides. It went something like this:

"If you like peanut butter with jelly...simply have a cup of peanut butter and a cup of jelly."
I hold up a cup of peanut butter and a cup of jelly...mix them together and eat with a spoon.

"If you like peanut butter with bananas...simply have a cup of peanut butter and a sliced banana."
I hold up a cup of peanut butter and a banana...mash them together and eat with a spoon.

"If you like peanut butter with babies...simply have a cup of peanut butter and a cup of babies."
I hold up a cup of peanut butter and a cup of what is apparently ground up babies.

Screeeeeeeeeech!?!?! Peanut butter with babies? What person has a dream that includes a cup of ground babies? Furthermore, what person has a dream where they mix ground babies with something else...and eat it?!? And, you know the most disgusting thing? The peanut butter. I prefer my ground babies to be mixed with whipped cream...babies are much too sweet to mix them with peanut butter.

Please note: No babies were harmed (or ground up) in the making of this dream. Also, I do not advocate grinding up babies. It was a pregnancy dream...save yourself the time of writing the hate mail.

Posted by Courtney at 6:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

A few days ago I was scoping out www.oldnavy.com looking in the bargain section. In the Baby Girls' department...under Tanks & Shirts for Baby...I found this shirt:

Cowboy Wanted. Cow-Boy Want-Ed. On a shirt that comes in the sizes 6-12 months through 5T. If you're not as appalled as I was, please slap yourself in the head and question why you are still permitted to breathe. WHO, in their right mind, thinks that this shirt is appropriate for a baby girl? WHY would a baby want a cowboy? WHY would a baby be advertising that they are in the market for, and actively looking for, a cowboy? It damn well better be because she likes horses.

Add this to the list of things my baby will not be wearing...EVER. This shirt and those stupid pants with words on the butt...no child of mine...I don't care if it's only $2.99. So, yeah, I'm disturbed that a baby clothes designer successfully pitched this idea...and more disturbed that somewhere someone purchased at least one of these shirts. I really don't see why a child wearing a 5T would wear a shirt like this...let alone a child wearing size 6 months. In the spirit of this shirt, I've come up with a few baby shirt ideas myself. They are a little more 'to the point' than this one...but, hey, if we're pimping out our children these days, why be subtle? How about:

Stripper In Training...Help Me Off With This Diaper

Gonna Be a Whore...Like My Mommy

I'm Using My Body...Brains Are Overrated

Posted by Courtney at 8:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Here I am...37 weeks pregnant. I'm now on the once a week appointments which is kinda scary because that means I'm ever closer to the horror of labor. Yesterday was my first appointment where I was checked for dilation and such. The doctor said I'm about 1cm dilated and 50% effaced. Oh yeah, and she's "really high up there"...which seems to mean she's 'up there' about half the length of the doctor's arm. I know you're thinking this is a bit of an exaggeration...well it's not. I still have "quite a bit" of dilation to go...along with waiting for her to drop out of my damn ribs. I was hoping he would induce me so I wouldn't be in the hospital for Christmas...and also more importantly so I can sleep on my back again. No such luck on that front. Doctor says it's not a good idea for a first time mom to be induced if it's not a necessary situation...and he doesn't seem to think that my desire to sleep for longer than an hour at a time is an emergency...go figure! Baby Long's heartbeat is as strong as ever and she's head down, so things on that front are going just fine. The only sorta bad thing he told me was that I need to spend more time "on my side" because I'm retaining fluid from being up and on my feet too much. Well no problem, Doc. I certainly don't have anything to do...I'll just stay in bed all day. The hardest thing is that when I rest for more than an hour at a time I feel so unproductive...like I have a million things to do and I'm squandering my time. I checked out a book (The Baby Whisperer) and a DVD (Diary of Anne Frank) from the library to encourage me to rest. Of course I'm going to listen to him...not only because he's the doctor...but also because he told me that getting the fluid off of my ankles can cause up to a five pound weight loss in a week...that man sure knows how to make a pregnant woman listen to him!

Posted by Courtney at 11:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)