Disclaimer: Grandma, (and others who don't want to read about my underwear and/or leaky breasts) you may want to skip this post...or if you don't skip it...consider yourself fully informed of the content...

Two of my favorite topics. Two topics I never would have thought I'd write about on a public blog...my underwear...and leaky breasts. First, the underwear...maternity underwear to be exact. I have to tell you...I freaking love maternity underwear. No one told me how comfortable they are. I held out and didn't even buy any until I was 28 weeks along. Next time I'll start wearing them as soon as I find out I'm pregnant...if I even quit wearing them in between. I feel like maternity underwear are the best kept secret in preggo clothes...therefore I feel that it is my duty to devote some time to talking about them. If any of my readers are pregnant or become pregnant...and no one has told you about the beauty of maternity underwear...let it be known that I am instructing you to purchase them...lots of them...and don't ever run out so that you have to wear a pair of your old ones...trust me...you appreciate the comfort of nice underwear when you have to wear non-maternity underwear when you're 32 weeks pregnant....trust me...

On to the leaky breasts. This morning I noticed some spottage on my t-shirt that I slept in...okay Larry noticed...amazing isn't it? I had something on my shirt...in the breast area...and Larry managed to be the one to see it first...he's so observant. Neither of us are all that sure of what the mystery substance is...until I go to get in the shower. I saw a little leakage in my nipple area...and deduced that the mystery substance was some kind of pre-baby nipple leakage. I admit, I was a little excited...that means the time is winding down until we get to meet our little one. I told Larry that I had figured out what was going on...and being the ever so helpful husband, he said things like:

"That means the baby is coming early...horses start to leak milk two days before they give birth."

[Thanks...thanks for comparing me to a horse...]

"They started being drippy because you were playing with them...weren't you?"

[Yes, dear, all women play with their nipples...but usually we do it together...while we're making out...just like in every man's wildest dreams...]

"You need to quit playing with them...you'll run out of colostrum."

[Okay first of all, what male on the planet knows what colostrum is? Second of all, I'm not exactly planning on showing off my new 'trick' to everyone I know...]

And my favorite comment from this morning:

"That's why men don't have the babies...I'd have my boobies out all day...showing everybody that I can squirt milk."

Yes, that, among many other reasons are the reasons men don't have the babies...

Posted by Courtney at 9:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Simple. Play the Rascal Flatts song "My Wish" (view the lyrics here). Another one? How about the Heartland song "I Loved Her First" (view the lyrics here). Or, you could just look at her...sometimes that works too.

Posted by Courtney at 9:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

After watching an episode of the new TV show Heros:

Larry: I wonder why I don't have super powers.

Me: (Not missing a beat.) Because you would use them for evil.

Larry: Okay, you said that way too quickly.

Me: Yeah, but you would.

Larry: You're probably right.

Posted by Courtney at 8:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

One of the more annoying things in life is finding out that a coupon you have is expired. I'm not good at using coupons because I never remember I have them, and by the time I do, they are expired. A trick I've found to remedy this problem is simple: cut off the expiration date if it is located at the top or bottom of the coupon. I've found that in 99.9% of situations, the cashier doesn't give a flying rat's ass if it doesn't have an expiration date...after all, not all coupons expire anyways. Notice I said in 99.9% of the cases...that's because yesterday I expierenced the .1%. Larry and I went to Burger King for lunch...I had a coupon that offered a free Whopper with a purchase...only it expired on the 30th of September. No problem, I just clipped off the part that said the date. We get there, order, and produce the coupon. The following conversation ensues:

Burger Lady: Um, I don't think we take these anymore...I think they were for last month...yeah...they're expired.

Me: Um, well it didn't have a date on it.

BL: (to other Burger Lady) Do we still have these coupons?

OBL: (carefully reading the fine print which does not include an expiration date...I checked) The date was at the top...but it's been cut off. (Skeptically looking at me.) Go ahead and do it this time...

Really, what difference does it make to her if I use a coupon for a free Whopper? Are the Burger King police going to yell at her for taking a coupon that has a value of $1.99? I doubt it. And, I used to work at Pizza Hut...we had to take coupons with no date as long as they had the little Pizza Hut logo. Also, while I worked there I (along with my coworkers) had no freaking idea what coupons were currently in circulation and which had expired a week or two ago...I guess this cashier/order taker wins the award for Super Burger Lady of the Year.

The funniest part was after we left...Larry and I were talking about it when we got in the car...he was teasing me because she "totally called [me] out". I said, "Um, yeah...but she took the coupon, didn't she?" To which he replied, "But only this once...that was so funny..." What I should've said when she informed me that she was doing me a favor by taking it this one time?

Yeah, you'll take it next time, too, bitch.

Why do I always think of the good stuff when it's too late?!

Posted by Courtney at 4:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The last few days I've found that I've been thinking more and more about posting again...a month ago I was ready to quit this blog thing because of a lack of motivation due to an ongoing personal situation. Things are getting better...seeming less dreary...and I've missed my little b-log...so I'm back...with a post that's chock full of updates and such...so let me apologize in advance if I ramble.

First things first...we had an ultrasound on the 19th of September to try and determine the sex of the baby. The answer, from the tech, was a 99% sureity that it's a GIRL! I made it out to a few garage sales while they were still going on, and picked up some girly outfits. We also bought her little coming home from the hospital outfit...a Classic Pooh pants, onesie, and hat set from Target. I did the registries (Walmart & Target), and the baby shower invites have been sent. Doing the registries was fun, however I think that pregnant women should be given the use of those wheelchairs while doing a registry. Do you have any idea what my feet, back, and neck felt like afterwards? By the end of the two hour excursion in Target I was scanning like a crazy woman...and found it hard to move for the rest of the day. I passed my short glucose test...which I'm glad of because I had a hard time staying awake at the hospital in between when I drank the orange delight and when they actually took my blood...I'd have had to ask for a room if I needed to do the four hour test. At my last appointment the doctor said I'm measuring big, but not gaining excessively...whatever the hell that means. I guess he's going to do another ultrasound when I go next time to verify the baby's measurements. Which reminds me...he switched me to every two weeks appointments...which had me a little freaked out...I guess this means it really is getting close. I'm 30 weeks this week...and have found I'm more and more worried that this little girly is going to come early...ten weeks doesn't seem like enough time...heaven help me if she's three or four weeks early!

It's so nice to be able to refer to her as a her instead of 'the baby' or 'the kid'. She does officially have a name...we're just not telling what it is until she's born. It took a few months of debate...mostly because Larry and I are both pretty stubborn. We had decided on a name but couldn't agree on a spelling...so we duked it out for a few months...couldn't come to an agreement...and changed the name all together. It was funny because we spent so much time disagreeing on the spelling of the one name, but then one of us suggested a different name, and we had decided on the first and middle name by the end of that day. There's your teaser for the rest of my pregnancy...the baby has a name...but it won't be shared for another ten weeks or so!

Alright, that's all I have for now...it's nice to jump back into the swing of things! Thanks to all who sent me encouraging comments and emails about my crappy-licious post from before!

Posted by Courtney at 8:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)